New and Last semester~

Few days from now, my last semester will start. 

^_^

Can't wait because I am bored.

Sitting at home doing house chores, watching dramas, and playing Farm Ville.

It's the same routines everyday. 

When the class starts, I may suffer stress and so on. 

But at least I am not as bored as now. 

I need to shop for this new semester. 

I hope I can shop soon.

I'm wondering what should I do after I graduate. 

My parents would want me to pursue my study. 

But I afraid it will be harder for me to get a job if I pursue my study. 

I'll just wait. 

February~

Hi~

It's been a long time since we meet.

How long is it since my last post?

I'm sorry.

Honestly I totally forget about this blog.

Hehe~

Anyway, its already February. 

I'm currently in my semester break.

Until 3rd of March. 

Wee~

15th February. Important Date. Result. 

I'm nervous.

I know I didn't do good as usual during the final.

Let's hope for the best.

*smiles*

That's all.

Goodbye~

 

Changes

Anyeong~

Today, I'll update about a friend of mine. 

He has changed. But, it's a good change and I like it. Well, part of me don't like it but that change can make me smile whole day. 

Seriously, I'm proud of him. Continue you good changes, please. And please be happy. 

I'll happy if you're happy so don't worry about leaving me alone. 

I'm here with my other friends and family. 

They'll support me like they always did. Well, no one can fill up the empty spot you left but I can handle it. So, don't worry. 

If could, please ignore me. You know how persistent I can get. 

That's all I guess. 

Bye~

Dull expression

Hello,

I'm going to talk about B2ST instead of my personal life this time.

I'm happy with Yoseob's solo album. The dance, the music, the melody, the songs and his voice, everything satisfy me. He even look much better than when he is promoting and practicing 'Midnight Sun' album. What I mean is he looks healthier, more cheerful and relax. I guess there is not much pressure working with Junhyung. 

But I hate to see Hyunseung dull expression. I know deep inside he still feel empty and loss. He miss his father. One of my close friends lost her father recently and she is lonely. She rarely goes to classes and always keeps quite. She does talk but we all notice she is different. But she is tough and strong inside. 

Just like Hyunseung. I know he is tough and strong inside. I hope the feeling will wear off soon. I hope B2ST members will help and care for him no matter what. What I truly hope for is to see his sincere sweet and kind smile and laugh once again. 

And I will try me best to support my friend. 

That's all.

I've replacement class tomorrow. Really need to attend it. So, good night. 

I love you.

Out NOW!!

Hello~

I'm waiting.

For Yoseob - Caffeine.

Which should be out by now.

............................................................

*sigh*

I'll update more later.

Maybe after class. 

I have class this afternoon. 

Yeah. 

Bye.

Relieved.

Hey there~ 

The event I organized ended this evening. I'm not happy in the result. I can see my mistake. What can I do is just watch and help the Program bureau changed the flow of the event. 

T__T

I cried in my car last night. I purposely took the long way to go home just to cry. It did help. At least, I don't feel like crying much today. 

But, I still need him. 

I know I can't reach him so what can I do is just letting him go. I'm letting him go by tonight, in the next morning I'll be remembering him again. Haha. Stupid me. An over stupid me. 

I saw JYJ - In Heaven MV. I understand why Ji Hyo kill herself. She loves him so much but she can't be by him. So, what is the use? It is better for her to go. 

or

I'm a burden to him. I can't control myself from loving him, missing him and disturbing him with his work. It is better for me to go and let him free. 

Junsu look so much like him, especially the sad smile and the poker yet sad face. 

The last image of him is his sad smile when he look at me while walking away. At that moment, I start to feel the burden in my chest but I ignore it. Now, I think I know why. 

I guess that's all for today. Bye bye~

Concerns of the Heart

Hello there, 

I told you before about an event that I organize. It is in two days. My task is finding three speakers. I manage to find them but 2 of them canceled. But, I spare one backup. However, there is another empty place for a speaker. 

So, some people help me and I thank those people so much. 

The director thank them too.

I smile, happy that everyone appreciate them.

Today, a person says that it is inappropriate for the director to thank them publicly because my team and I also work very hard to obtain the third speaker. The way he thanks them as if my team and I not doing anything to get the third speakers. Not just a person says this, it is a few of people and some of them are not really close to me.

I am speechless when I hear that. 

I am not sure what I feel. 

It hurts a little but is it for me or for the people who help me? 

I want to say that I never feel that way. I want to say that I don't mind. 

But in sudden, I do mind. Since the very beginning, the director never thank my team and I about anything, no matter how hard we work. That is because he never realize it. Just the people around me notice our hard work. 

I won't call it hard work though. I don't work truly hard for this forum. Just enough work for it to run smoothly. 

But, somehow I know this is not the feeling that I should have in my heart. I shouldn't feel mad or angry for what the director did. It was his right to thank anyone he appriciates. 

I feel like crying but I can't. Not in front of my family. Not in front of my friend.

I wish I can go out with that person, the only person I trust and cry in front of him. 

Where are you? I need you. Please, come back. Where have you been in these four months? Without contacting me. and why? 

Why did you do this to me? What I made that make you go away? 

I guess I just have to find another alternative to soothe my painful heart. 

Tell me if you have any suggestion.