Out NOW!!

Hello~

I'm waiting.

For Yoseob - Caffeine.

Which should be out by now.

............................................................

*sigh*

I'll update more later.

Maybe after class. 

I have class this afternoon. 

Yeah. 

Bye.

Relieved.

Hey there~ 

The event I organized ended this evening. I'm not happy in the result. I can see my mistake. What can I do is just watch and help the Program bureau changed the flow of the event. 

T__T

I cried in my car last night. I purposely took the long way to go home just to cry. It did help. At least, I don't feel like crying much today. 

But, I still need him. 

I know I can't reach him so what can I do is just letting him go. I'm letting him go by tonight, in the next morning I'll be remembering him again. Haha. Stupid me. An over stupid me. 

I saw JYJ - In Heaven MV. I understand why Ji Hyo kill herself. She loves him so much but she can't be by him. So, what is the use? It is better for her to go. 

or

I'm a burden to him. I can't control myself from loving him, missing him and disturbing him with his work. It is better for me to go and let him free. 

Junsu look so much like him, especially the sad smile and the poker yet sad face. 

The last image of him is his sad smile when he look at me while walking away. At that moment, I start to feel the burden in my chest but I ignore it. Now, I think I know why. 

I guess that's all for today. Bye bye~

Concerns of the Heart

Hello there, 

I told you before about an event that I organize. It is in two days. My task is finding three speakers. I manage to find them but 2 of them canceled. But, I spare one backup. However, there is another empty place for a speaker. 

So, some people help me and I thank those people so much. 

The director thank them too.

I smile, happy that everyone appreciate them.

Today, a person says that it is inappropriate for the director to thank them publicly because my team and I also work very hard to obtain the third speaker. The way he thanks them as if my team and I not doing anything to get the third speakers. Not just a person says this, it is a few of people and some of them are not really close to me.

I am speechless when I hear that. 

I am not sure what I feel. 

It hurts a little but is it for me or for the people who help me? 

I want to say that I never feel that way. I want to say that I don't mind. 

But in sudden, I do mind. Since the very beginning, the director never thank my team and I about anything, no matter how hard we work. That is because he never realize it. Just the people around me notice our hard work. 

I won't call it hard work though. I don't work truly hard for this forum. Just enough work for it to run smoothly. 

But, somehow I know this is not the feeling that I should have in my heart. I shouldn't feel mad or angry for what the director did. It was his right to thank anyone he appriciates. 

I feel like crying but I can't. Not in front of my family. Not in front of my friend.

I wish I can go out with that person, the only person I trust and cry in front of him. 

Where are you? I need you. Please, come back. Where have you been in these four months? Without contacting me. and why? 

Why did you do this to me? What I made that make you go away? 

I guess I just have to find another alternative to soothe my painful heart. 

Tell me if you have any suggestion. 

Pain in Happy Mood?

Yuhuu~ 

Hehe, neko is here again. 

Confuse with the title?

Pain means the menstrual pain. 

Happy because someone help me in gaining the third speakers. 

I hope everything will go on as planned. 

Another heartache,

Do you know about what happen in Palestine, Rohingya and Syria?

I do not know everything although I wish I will.

Please pray for them. They truly need it the most. 

I wonder how can we help them.

Can money help?

Well, that's what most people think running the earth. 

They must be hoping, assistance will come. 

I hope their hope will not die. 

There must be some way to help them, right?

There must be. 

About the third part of my face, 

I' not truly happy with today post. 

:(

A week after

Hello everyone~

*feel stupid since I  don't have a reader*

My last post is on 5th and now is 11th. Almost a week. Hehe~

Continuing my last post about my self introduction.

I am 21 years old now and still studying. 

I'm not ready to work. 

About my personal life. I am the invitation bureau for a forum and my job is to search for the panels. I have successfully search three of them and suddenly two of them cancel. T__T The forum is only one week from now and I only have one backup. I know, it is my fault for not searching more backup. But I wish I can fix this.

I try to search for a new panel but it is not an easy task. It takes me three weeks to invite the three of them before. It is not impossible but it is a very difficult task. I'm quite stressed about this. 

I have test tomorrow and also have to submit an assignment. I'm try to finish the assignment yesterday and something happen and I can't finish it. So, I'll try to finish the assignment as soon as possible and study. 

Just now, the director of the project text me asking about the slide of the panels. *sigh* The panels don't reply to my email that asks for their biodata. What do you expect, mr. director? 

An important email disappears from my yahoo account. I am confident that I never delete that email. I only got 7-10 email a day and I delete which I consider spam. And I know that I can never delete that email because it is so important!!

T__T I'm sad and I wish to tell someone about this. Well, what could I do?

Well, lastly another hint of my face. 

 Bye bye~

*cries*

Neko who loves her pillow

Hello,

My name is **** but just call me Neko. I don't feel like revealing my name since I'll talk a lot about my personal life.
I used to have a blog before but I delete it. 

Why?

Because I want to run away from other bloggers who know me which includes my haters. 

I have haters but I don't have any fans. 

Haha....

I guess I'm just a bad person. 

In my previous blog, I refuse to place my photo. 

But since this blog is truly new and no one will see it, I decide to place some to my photos.

Please don't expect anything.

I'm not pretty or cute. 

But I don't think I'm ugly. 

Just..... hrmm.... okay?

You may notice the awkwardness of my English. 

That's because I am not English native speaker.

Want to know my nationality?

Proudly say, I am Malaysian. 

Okay, that's enough. 

I will tell you more in the next post. 

But before I go, I'll show you a hint of how I look like. 

As I say before, don't expect much. 

Here you go.

What do you think? 

*hide and run away*